PORFLE PRESENTS: "O.J., THE WOLF MAN, AND LARRY KING"

Once, while Larry King was flyin' around

With his jet-propelled rocket pack, high o'er the ground

He could see the Wolf Man from his aerial position

Sneaking up behind some guys who were fishin'.



Larry King's Spidey-sense was activated

Battling monsters kept him motivated

Quick as a flash, he swooped onto the scene

Just as the Wolf Man ate Charlie Sheen.



In the next split second, Larry King did mourn

To avenge Charlie Sheen, his next mission was born

As the Wolf Man approached the remaining victim

Rescuing him was Larry's new dictum.



From the corner of his eye, Larry King started glimpsin'

The other guy's face--it was O.J. Simpson

It seems he'd grown tired of football and golfin'

And was currently trying to reel in a dolphin.



Suddenly, almost, not quite but nearly

Larry began to see it all clearly

O.J. and Wolf Man together had planned

To eliminate Charlie Sheen from our land.



And now, as the Wolf Man devoured the corpus

And O.J. continued to fish for a porpoise

From out of the sky, like a vulture on wing

Came the force for revenge known as Larry King.



The Wolf Man attacked, but Larry was faster

A skip to the left averted disaster

Then O.J. let loose with a swing of his pole

Which Larry King dodged with a shoulder roll.



Again came the Wolf Man, this time with a leap

As O.J. retreated and hopped in his Jeep

But Larry, quick-witted, reached into his crotch

And pulled out a silver-trimmed flask full of scotch.



The Wolf Man got drunk as he gulped it all down

While O.J. peeled out--he was headed for town

So Larry bent over and lit a huge fart

The resulting explosion was right off the chart.



The engine and paint job were fried in the fire

As the terrible heat quickly melted each tire

And O.J.'s clothing, of course, was consumed

So naked he fled, to avoid being doomed.



He jumped in the water, and splashed like a guppy

While the Wolf Man, sloshed, danced around like a puppy

And Larry stood back with a satisfied smile

For all was now well--well, at least for awhile.



Then they all fished for dolphins, till each of them scored

They saddled them up, to avoid getting bored

And they rode them away 'neath the dawn's early bling

O.J., the Wolf Man, and Larry King.